Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Female-Headed Household: Can Pop Culture Get it Right?

Gilmore Girls is a critically acclaimed and Emmy Award winning comedy-drama that was created by Amy Sherman-Palladino. The series stars Lauren Graham, as Lorelai Gilmore[1], who plays the mother of Alexis Bledel, as Lorelai “Rory” Gilmore. The two live in a fictional small town known to viewers as Stars Hollow, which is said to be located somewhere in Connecticut. Lorelai Gilmore grew up with her wealthy, Ivy League parents Emily and Gilmore who both live in a mansion in Hartford Connecticut. At the age of 16 Lorelai and her childhood boyfriend Christopher Hayden become pregnant. Lorelai, who has felt suffocated and stifled by the prestigious life led by both of her parents, runs away from home to be taken in by an inn owner. Lorelai has Rory, continues working at the inn alongside the owner and builds a life for her self in her new town as a single mother. The show displays the struggle, tenacity and determination of Lorelai Gilmore as she raise Rory, who eventually attends an Ivy League herself after attending a prestigious high school, as she finishes her education and becomes the co-owner and manager of an inn herself.
The heart warming tale of the high school drop out, who later becomes a business owner, depicts all of the changes that our culture has made away from the out cry made by many scholars of the damaging of the female-headed household. When William Juilis Wilson wrote The Truly Disadvantaged[2], he even attributed the increasing number of out of wedlock births and single mother to ramifications of poverty. He writes “the increase in the proportion of extramarital births could be mainly a function of the increasing difficulty of finding a marriage partner with stable employment, or of changes in social values regarding out-of-wedlock births, or of increased economic independence afforded women by availability of income transfer payments” (Wilson 1987: 73). The question to ask is, why is this a social problem?
Society is constantly evolving, however, one of the benchmark North American values is that of the family. Many scholars and theorist have used the family as the smallest unit to which we can measure society. With this unit come and assumption that “the family” exist in a biological connection with a hetero-normative definitions of who constitutes which relationship. In other words, father are males, mothers are females, both fathers and mothers have to be included within the familial unit, and each sex and gender are meant to provide different cultural norms. Thankfully this is changing, slowly, but changing nonetheless. Many people within society are redefining the boundaries along gender, sex and number of adults.  At the center of this debate is the question, how does my family make up affect your family make-up? If we redefine the concept that we envision for what a family looks like, is the fear that the American values will be dismantled?
Patricia Hill Colins in her chapter on “Black Women and Motherhood”[3] discusses this very idea. She explores the centrality of motherhood to assumingly cis-gendered women within the Black community and how motherhood is a position that bring empowerment to their identity. She gives us three different types of family units and relationships that have been overlooked by previous scholars. Bloodmothers, or mothers, are women that have a biological connection to their children. Othermothers are women involved in a child’s life that do no have biological relationships. The women-center networks involved both of these types of mothers and relative women that are all involved in child-rearing. These relationships should be seen as “organized, resilient, women-centered networks of bloodmothers and othermothers are key in understanding this centrality. Grandmothers, sisters, aunts, or cousins act as othermothers by taking on child-care responsibilities for one another’s children. When needed, temporary childcare arrangements can turn into long-term care or informal adoption” (Collins:119-120). Quite frankly, in the absence of males and abundances of resources women just make it work.
That being said, we still have a long way to go. Obviously, the idea of a female-headed households and single motherhood still gains negative stigma in a society that only see both as lacking. TV shows like Gilmore Girls can help docile that stigma, but the representation within those shows is still problematic. As IVillage[4] compiled a top ten list of their favorite single mother, they demonstrate the spectrum of popular single mothers on television. Spoiler Alert, nine out of the ten are white women and the person of color that is featured is not a central character. This Huffingtonpost article[5] isn’t much better.  Now, that is not to say that this is at all an extensive list of single-mother representation in television, but the image that is built around women of color as single mothers is not a similar perspective that are held for white women.
This Altantic[6] article really tackles the topic in the best way. It’s starts by discussing the The Single Mom’s Club (shown in picture). The great thing that the film gets right is that it depicts these women as compassionate and stays away from usually “you are your worst problem” that many other shows and movie imply about their single status. The film isn’t perfect and there are still many problematic element in the film that need to be questioned, however, it is at least a step forward from the usual media representation. It would be dangerous to leave the narrative of any complex issue up to pop culture or the media, but there needs to be a call for all single parents to have their stories, struggles and success, displayed in a holistic way. 

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